Scroll for long enough and it starts to feel like everyone else is doing life better. They’re buying hauls worth hundreds of pounds, travelling long-haul multiple times a year, have a skincare routine that gives them glass skin, getting promotions every 6 months and somehow turned their hobbies into income.
Social media has become very good at fuelling comparison to a higher degree - we’re not comparing to our small community of 100, but benchmarking ourselves against millions of people across the globe. Even worse, comparing against the highlights, not the whole package.
Social media doesn’t show reality. It shows what performs. And what performs is usually extreme — extreme routines, extreme consumption, extreme productivity, extreme lifestyles. Over time, that skews our idea of what’s “standard” and quietly chips away at self-esteem.
Humans have always compared themselves to others, but never at this scale, or with this intensity. Research consistently shows that increased time on social media is linked to higher levels of social comparison, particularly upward comparison (comparing ourselves to people who appear to be doing better). This can hit self-esteem as we compare ourselves to filtered versions of others.
Then there’s overconsumption. Social platforms make money by capturing your attention and influencing your buying behaviour. Hauls, restocks, “things you need”, productivity tools, wellness upgrades. When identity and aspiration are tied to what we buy, consumption starts to feel like self-improvement.
None of this means social media is inherently bad. But it does mean we need to consciously re-anchor ourselves in what real life actually looks like.
Doing large shopping hauls
Weekly shopping hauls and new outfits every week isn’t a reality for the majority of us. Plus, definitely not great for the planet.
5am wake ups
Early starts work for some people, but it isn’t everyone’s norm.
Perfect, glowing skin all the time
Real skin doesn’t need to look like glass, with a 15 step routine.
Optimised morning routines
Most people don’t ice their face, run 10km, use a vibration plate and meditate for an hour.
Turning hobbies into income
Most people do things purely because they enjoy them.
Rapid career progression
Some careers are slow and zig-zagged.
Being “sorted” by your late 20s
It’s okay to have no idea what you want to
Long-haul travel every year
For many, it’s occasional — not annual.
Constant self-improvement
Real life includes plateaus, pauses and maintenance phases.